Masturdating: The Sex and Dating Ban That Could Change Your Life – SWAAY
A “man ban” was not something I had tried to come up with as a resolution to a dating issue. I was 29, single, writing my first book, and just happened to go on one by accident. I was given nine weeks to hand in a manuscript, which required all my time and energy. I told my friends I would not be around for social catch-ups, rejected dates, and hookups (as painful as that was), and I simply focused on my work and myself.
I had to keep my mind clear and productive, but it also felt like, for the first time in a long time, I was looking after and focusing on myself first instead of others. (I also happen to be a nurturer, so looking after myself is not something I’m always great at.) Even though I did this for work, what I also accidentally created was my own “man ban.”
Masturdate — a fun word I use to describe dating yourself, which is doing things you might do on a date but with yourself.
At the time, I didn’t realize how badly I needed it or how valuable that time would be. There have been periods in my dating life where I wanted to take a break, but the temptation to date and bed others always got the better of me. I also think this had a lot to do with the validation I was seeking through dating and sex to boost my self-esteem (and I discovered