Confessions of a Former Serial Dater – The New York Times

Confessions of a Former Serial Dater – The New York Times

The first time I was called a serial dater was by my roommate, after I admitted to her that I had two dates set up with two different guys on the same day. I remember being nervous that the first one wouldn’t end in time for the next. The second time was when my friend Nikki failed to invite me to her movie night because she assumed I already made plans to meet up with someone from a dating app.

After ending my engagement to my fiancé in June 2018, and then later officially splitting up, I went through a period of exploration, as most singles do after ending long-term relationships. (And, keep in mind, this was long before all things coronavirus.) I downloaded several dating apps and even started to interact with some of the men I found attractive on my subway commute. This resulted in severa dates.

I was clear about my intentions from the start. Getting into a serious relationship right after my broken engagement just wasn’t something I was ready for. But dating was good for my self-esteem. It helped me know that I was still lovable and interesting at a time when it was easy to doubt my self worth. Many dating therapists, in fact, recommend dating around after a breakup.

In the beginning, the exchanges felt freeing. But the more first dates I went on, the more obsessed I became with meeting
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